


Waves of Thunder

by will_warin



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, I mean merperson AU, mermaid au, or whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 19:16:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2744057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/will_warin/pseuds/will_warin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo pinched the bridge of his nose, finished his tea and poured himself another cup.</p>
<p>“What do you expect me to do with the male merperson in my bath?”</p>
<p>Mr. Grey chuckled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waves of Thunder

**Author's Note:**

> So. BotFA is tomorrow. I should be working right now.
> 
> But [this magical AU list ](http://morganswans.tumblr.com/post/99602323343/you-know-i-love-coffee-shop-aus-and-the-like-but) and collided with [ uncreativeart's awesome awesomeness ](http://uncreativeart.tumblr.com/tagged/mermaid%20au) and I ended up writing stuff I have no idea if I ever finish. 
> 
> Yay?

Bilbo liked the ocean as much as the next person. Especially when accompanied by a nice sunset and good wine. 

On a day like this, however, cold, windy and with a starting drizzle, he wished he could be as far from the ocean as possible. Ideally somewhere with a hot bath and a tasty –

“Frodo! Come back here right now!”

He ran towards his nephew, who was standing on a large rock above the waves, his garbage bag flailing in the wind. 

Frodo moved away from the rock seconds before a wave hit the spot he’d been standing. Bilbo gasped. 

He never should have agreed to this Earth Day nonsense. Next time they are planting trees or flowers or something that doesn’t involve getting soaked by what seems like a half of the planet’s water reserves.

Right.

“See! It’s dangerous out here. We are going home right now, before you catch a cold or break a leg.”

“But, uncle…”

“No buts. Where is Mr. Grey? We should tell him we’re leaving.”

Bilbo looked around in an attempt to find Frodo’s teacher who came up with this _brilliant_ idea of trying to clean the ocean. In the rain. With a thunderstorm coming.

He climbed up an especially large piece of rock to see better, when he saw the…

“Oh, look uncle, that is a really weird fish!”

Frodo, of course, had to see it too, hadn’t he?

“Yes, Frodo, it is. Now, be so good and come here, we are leaving. Have you found Mr. Grey?”

“No, Mr. Baggings, I have found myself. How can I help you?” The teacher somehow appeared from nowhere and caught Bilbo’s arm just before his feet slipped on the stone and he nearly fell on top of the … fish. Definitely a fish. A weird fish. Fish.

A fish with a torso of a man. A very pale man.

“Tharkun.”

A fish with a torso of a man that could speak. Bilbo considered fainting. There was a thunder. And this time, Mr. Grey was too slow and Bilbo ended up falling into the merman’s arm.

####

Thorin was cold. 

He felt dizzy and couldn’t move properly. His tail was bent at a weird angle and breathing hurt.

He tried to look around, but everything was blurry and moving his head made the dizziness worse. 

He didn’t remember how he got there.

There was blood on his fingers. How did blood get on his fingers? Could Fili or Kili be bleeding? No, they were fine, when he sent them back to Dís, telling them it was too dangerous so close to the shore and promising to pick up the rest of the garbage, so that they can win the … whatever the competition this year was. Tharkun, the teacher of their ecology class, had always had weird ideas about…

There was a creature with a really weird tail climbing on a rock. It made a very high pitched sound. Thorin’s head started to pound. He hissed in pain when he touched his temple. His hand came back covered in more blood.

Shit. Now he’ll have to deal with his sister _and_ sharks. Just perfect.

Boy’s teacher appeared from nowhere moments before the creature with a weird tail got startled by a thunder and fell from its rock. Thorin managed to slow down its fall, their heads colliding in the process.

The world exploded into red and black and pain.

####

Bilbo was sitting in his armchair, drinking a third mug of tea and trying to breathe normally.

Frodo was standing guard in the bathroom. His teacher just finished a very long and very confusing explanation. 

Bilbo sighed.

“So you’re telling me that the creature in my bath…”

“The person in your bath.”

“…the person in my bath is some kind of mermaid…”

“Merperson.”

“…merperson, who are totally real and not …” 

He sighed again.

“But why my bath? What do you want me to do with it?”

“Him.”

“Him.”

Bilbo pinched the bridge of his nose, finished his tea and poured himself another cup.

“What do you expect me to do with the male merperson in my bath?”

Mr. Grey chuckled.

Bilbo wished he could hit him with a teaspoon. 

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone is OOC and cold. I am just one of these things.


End file.
